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Presented by State Library Victoria

5 Ways I Would Re-write the History of the Earth

This is legit my way of

a) making humanity look bad and

b) thinking about history and stuff I guess? I don’t know.

If I sound like this horrible evil dictator then whoops, but the made-up people have to deal with it. Not your problem! So here we gooooooo

1. Never “invent” humans. We have stuffed up the world in many ways, so I think just getting rid of us would solve a lot of problems. Slavery, drugs, alcohol, overpopulation, pollution, etc.  Another species could inherit the Earth. They’d do a better job than any of us could. Maybe leopards?

2. If humanity did still exist for some reason, then NO HITLER. I don’t know how I would stop this… maybe give his mother a miscarriage or something? Dang, I feel like some god now. Joy.

3. No religion, or at least, no one religious enforcing their beliefs. If someone chose to believe in something, then maybe they could meet up for cake or whatever with anyone else who shared their beliefs. This is also if humanity still existed.

4. Never let anyone have access to weapons. This includes humans, leopards, gorillas, donkeys and penguins. And YES, I KNOW THAT THE NATURAL WAY IS KILLING THINGS AND EATING THEM, but honestly, evolution! If somehow I stuffed up the natural order, then evolution! By the way, claws and beaks etc do NOT count as weapons.

5. No discrimination. I could stop this by… um, I actually don’t know. I can’t stop it efficiently (by not letting it happen in the first place), but like, maybe if anyone has a problem with discrimination against them or someone else, they could maybe come to me to get it sorted? Then I’d do something to the organism/s discriminating to make the message stick. BUT NOT PAIN OR WHATEVER.

 

This is seemed like a good idea when I first thought of it. In my head I was like “hey, I could make the world better. Why don’t I write it down!” But now I’ve kinda looked at it and gone “yeah, I make a rubbish ruler. Oh well!” I think a lot of the ways that I could make the world better depend on what the organisms on Earth are doing. I depend on them. Woah, philosophy or something!

 

Please tell me any ways I could make the world better. I desperately need help with this. Bye!

24 comments

jayay

And this, my friends is why you don't trust a twelve-year-old with the power to control the world! :) Mind you the whole don't invent humans thing seems like a pretty sound idea lol

2nd Oct, 18
indiaaqua

XD

2nd Oct, 18
indiaaqua

IM THIRTEEN AS OF TODAY.

TRIGGERED.

2nd Oct, 18
jayay

In reply to indiaaqua

Lol oopsie sorry Indiiii I forgot about you turning thirteen today...

2nd Oct, 18
indiaaqua

In reply to jayay

._. ;-;

2nd Oct, 18
jayay

In reply to indiaaqua

Sorryyyyyy

2nd Oct, 18
bookwithbane

In reply to indiaaqua

Ouch

6th Oct, 18
bookwithbane

Exactly. Now fourteen...

6th Oct, 18
jayay

In reply to bookwithbane

Lol, she's probably gonna forget my birthday, which is soon so eh.

6th Oct, 18
indiaaqua

In reply to jayay

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

16th Oct, 18
jayay

In reply to indiaaqua

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEE

16th Oct, 18
poppy

I actually have a plan to 'fix' the world which most of my friends know about (when I told them they said my crazy level went up %15. it was already through the roof beforehand) i won't tell you the whole plan but let me just tell you it involves killing/getting rid of all humans and all the cows.

also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! mine was a few days ago too.

3rd Oct, 18
indiaaqua

1. THIS IS A SOUND PLAN.
2. Thank you ^-^

4th Oct, 18
bookwithbane

Whelp you just commited mass genocide of 107 billion humans.

6th Oct, 18
jayay

Isn't there only 14 billion?

6th Oct, 18
bookwithbane

In reply to jayay

But in the history of the planet, 107 billion humans have lived and died

7th Oct, 18
indiaaqua

In reply to bookwithbane

14 dead for every living hooman bean. (According to The Fault In Our Stars)

And yes, I did. Well technically, if they never existed in the first place, it's not murder... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

7th Oct, 18
indiaaqua

In reply to jayay

Actually seven billion at the moment

7th Oct, 18
indiaaqua

http://www.7billionworld.com
A diagram of all the people in the world (excluding aliens)

7th Oct, 18
jayay

Oh yeah, it's 7.4, I have a bad memory.

8th Oct, 18
indiaaqua

In reply to jayay

XD true.

8th Oct, 18
jayay

In reply to indiaaqua

Yep, the one thing I can remember is that I have the memory of a goldfish! XD

8th Oct, 18
indiaaqua

In reply to jayay

Dory, is that you?

Everyone, I’ve found Dory!

9th Oct, 18
jayay

In reply to indiaaqua

XD

9th Oct, 18